You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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