god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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