There's always time for handjobs
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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