Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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