oh god the rape fog is back!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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