I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
