Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
