Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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