The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize