OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
