It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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