she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
