Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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