You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
