HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
