I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize