i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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