He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
