I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
