I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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