her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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