I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
