brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
