Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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