I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
