There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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