New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize