Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
