I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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