matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
