I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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