i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
