i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
