You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
ttyl tear gas
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Randomize
