dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
