last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
