she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I have tasted many bathrooms
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
