So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
