If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize