Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We left the knife in your bed.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
