Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
