you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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