My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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