so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
