i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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