I cockslap morals
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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