I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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