don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
