There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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