Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
