So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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