I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
you never un-have a 4some
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So here I am, sexting at work.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
