and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I deserve this hangover.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
