Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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