went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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