I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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