I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
