I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
