Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
