Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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