You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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