You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
